Secret Project Hermes

Many of you have probably already guessed, but Secret Project Hermes was actually a Man Christmas sweater. It turned out a leetle big, but no dye lot crisis this time, and no major mistakes that I didn't catch in time. Plus, although it sat out in the open next to my desk for the two months or so it took me to finish it, The Man never noticed and was completely surprised. When I can get away with that just by acting casual, it makes me wonder how--HOW?--I could possibly have lost the Battle of the Door. It isn't fair.

So there he is, all clad. He is also pleased with the long johns I got him (although I'm not sure he understands that they are underwear and not pants. Did you know if they have a Y-fly, you are meant to wear something over them, mmmkay?)

The other secret project, and the last completed project of 2008 was a pair of Man mittens, worked in Ye Olde Yarne leftover from the grey sweater. No picture. I remember him pulling them out of his stocking, so I know they're somewhere, but I haven't seen them since Christmas morning and he continues to wear the old grey mittens with the giant hole in them. I knitted the new grey mittens right under his very nose and he never bothered to ask who they were for. Another surprise.

The Man and his Cluelessness:

• Con: he doesn't notice when I cut my hair or shave my legs.
• Pro: he doesn't notice when I don't shave my legs either.

The last two weeks

For the last two weeks, I abandoned all (both) my projects to work on something different. The Teeny Tiny Government Entity has a charity drive every year and this year, instead of canned food, they went for hats, gloves, mittens, and scarves for a local domestic violence shelter. So the first thing I did was go on a yarn crawl. The second thing I did was fix The Man's new Liverpool FC sweater which he had just taken out of the package and put on and worn happily for no more than five minutes when The Paw of Demand took a swipe at him and he ended up with this:



Only I fixed it and it looks a lot better now.

The third thing I did was cast on a ribbed scarf from some new yarn. The fourth thing I did was dig through Ye Olde Yarne to see if I had anything I could use to make hats, gloves, mittens, and scarves for kids and adults. The fifth thing I did was set myself a ridiculous and unrealistic goal, and the sixth thing I did was knit a frenzy of hats, mittens, and scarves. No gloves. Gloves are a pain.


At the end of the two weeks, which is only about 4% of the knitting year, I had these new yarn items (plus one more pair of mittens I finished after the photo shoot):



and these Ye Olde Yarne mittens.

Now I have the mitten pattern memorized. Did you know that if you knit mittens at a slightly tighter gauge than you would ordinarily use for that particular yarn, you will end up with a thicker, denser, and warmer mitten? Well, you will.

The trip through the stash was a worthwhile exercise. I got it a little more organized--now all the Cascade 220 is together and all the Debbie Bliss Cashmerino Aran is together and all the little odd bits have been identified and categorized so I have a better idea of what there is. I had three little mini-balls of leftover green JelliBeenz that became one pair of mittens, and leftover Debbie Bliss in green, white, and black that became mittens. See what I did there? I used up six whole leftover balls of Ye Olde Yarne! I cannot tell you how satisfying that was. Upshot: I got to use up Ye Olde Yarne, I got to go on a yarn crawl, I got to spend two weeks whipping through small projects and actually finishing things in less than a month, I got to knit (don't forget that--knitting is pretty much the high point of my existence right now), and because I got to do all of those selfish fun things that I would happily do anyway for no particular reason, some kids will have warm hands this winter.

Very Very Angry

Bunny is not happy with a certain someone because of this. She has had her lunch and checked the mail and clammed down a little, but grrr still. She needs to sit in the sun and listen to Brahms and knit. But what to knit?

There are socks for Nephew Henry and The Man to work on, but they are boring.

There is The Man's red sweater. Again: boring. I have the back and some of the front done. Actually, I did the back twice. Once again, my gauge swatch lied, the rotten stinking jerkwad, so I ended up with a sweater back that, if completed, would fit one and a half The Mans. So I ripped back twenty eight inches of stockinette and started over. I took these photos inside last week with the able contribution of Photographer's Assistant/Spokesmodel Kirby:

Here's another one from last week:

That would be the September sock club sock. We all know that Bunny can't start that until she finishes the July sock club sock. Did you know that Lantern Moon needles are awesome? They are. I like the ebony ones and the rosewood ones. In fact, I was knitting Nephew Henry's socks on a new set of ebony Lantern Moon size one's. I left for work with four needles, and came home with two good needles and the jacked-up one you see next to September. I would recommend to you that Lantern Moon dpns in the smaller sizes are not really toss-em-in-the-bag sort of needles, unless you are happy to drop twenty-five bucks for a new set every freaking time you break one.

Hmmmm. Where was I? Oh, yes. Today I have been taking photos outside. What shall I knit on?

Wahoo doggy sweater? It is now 13 inches long. Kirby is sixteen inches long from collar to the base of his tail. Who thinks I should follow the pattern and knit to eighteen inches before starting the stripey border? Then there is the winter cardi, but that's just several acres of black stockinette stitch, and I've done two balls of yarn on that already this week.

And you can stay inside too, little monster. I am unmoved by your cuteness. I am unimpressed by your pouting.

I could go to work on the May sock club sock, the toe of which you can see perched among today's new arrivals. Nah. I don't feel like being wedded to a pattern today. The new yarn is for two lace projects which, again, requires being wedded to a pattern. Angry Bunny does not need something requiring precision; she needs something soothing and gentle. Not like either of the two secret projects which will not be shown here but which both require counting.

Sorry, sweetheart. You have to stay in too. I just don't have it in me to chase you into the weeds of Lucy's yard next door, and I can tell that's where you want to go.

So what's left?

Ab-Fab is left. Mohair. Ugh. Not today. At least not now.

And so, Wahoo doggy sweater it is! Maybe I can finish the back before The Man gets home.

Startitis

I finished the hunter orange socks. Yes, they really are pretty much that orange. The name of the colorway is"goldfish," if that gives you any idea. I thought that the intensity of the color needed a delicate stitch pattern to mitigate it.






I think I chose wisely. I really like the look of this. Of course, there is how things look, and there is how things are. I'm sending these to my mother so she can road-test them, since they are 100% bamboo fiber, and not very elastic.

Also, I have de-classified a secret project. They were intended for someone else, but The Man asked for them and, well, a yarn like this needs to be with someone who can appreciate it. I don't know what I was thinking when I bought it. Behold another pair of self-striping Man socks:



Up there on top is the beginning of a pair of socks for Nephew Henry. His mother told me he might get a kick out of hand-knit socks. I sure do, but I've never heard of a kid who gave a fig about socks. This could very well be a set-up to punk stupid old Aunt Dirtbunny. I don't care, though, because

I LIKE KNITTING SOCKS

If Nephew Henry would prefer to fill them with gravel and use them as a weapon instead of wear them, well, that's up to him. Once I give it away, I have no say in what happens to it. However, in case they do end up being weaponized, I'm also going to make a pair for Henry's little brother Peter. We wouldn't want Peter to be defenseless.


Did you know that I have dogs here? Well, I do, and about two years ago I got a book of dog sweater patterns and proceeded to order yarn to make about half of the patterns in the book. It has been a year, more or less, since I made a dog sweater, and we all know how Bunny feels about Ye Olde Yarne. So I have invaded my stash and cast on a Wahoo Doggy Sweater:




I showed it to The Man last night and he didn't recognize his own school colors. In his defense, he was watching Serie A soccer (Juventus and Udinese--Gigi has apparently gotten a haircut since Euro 2008, if you are interested), and Bunny should know by now that he shuts down during TV sports. I mean, geez, he works so hard and has to put up with so much crap around here; is it really too much to ask that he gets a little time to watch el futbol without a lot of bullshit?


Here is the really big news. Bunny worked up the nerve to open her Ab-Fab kit. It has all the yarn it's supposed to have and I picked which of the patterns to use. Guess what?

Three hanks of MOHAIR! You betcha. The first three hanks are wound and ready to go. It's not officially on the needles yet, but it soon will be. As will my winter cardi. I am going to swatch it this week. I swear!