Hello Twinkle Toes

I have decided to heed The Man's advice and I am going to start a new pair of socks: "Twinkle Toes." This is Cookie A's Knitty Gritty design. I have me my size 4 DPNs. I have me my STR "Rose Quartz" in heavyweight. I have it all de-hanked and assembled at the ready on my swift:



And now I'll just move the swift over to the kitchen table so it will be near the ball winder that is permanently attached to my dining room bookcase:


There it is, right next to The Man's Jesus action figure and the photo of Bunny and her brothers at the collective farm the Bunny parents ran when we were little. They told us to smile for the camera or we'd have no gruel back at gulag, so don't be fooled.

Uh oh. Problem:


The Man has left his shit on the dining room table. There is no room for the swift. (Please note YB in the background, staking out the kitchen just in case someone drops a biscotti or something.)

What to do? What to do? Well, I'm not going to clean it up. It's The Man's mess. There is only one thing to do. Passively-aggressively pretend that it isn't there and see how long it takes him to clean it up, aka Bunny Goes On Strike. Bunny Goes On Strike a lot. It doesn't seem to make much difference. Usually, people don't notice that she's on strike. However, it makes for some excellent seething and brooding in solitary silence. Until The Man cleans it up, Bunny will have to suffer with her boring old knitting.

UPDATE:

The Man cleaned it up. There usually isn't a wine box and a Borders bag on the kitchen table. Thus, their presence is unfamiliar and, ergo, scary to Kirbys. So scary, they prevent Kirbys from eating their supper, because their supper dishes are near the kitchen table. The Man moved his shit, Kirby ate his supper, Bunny wound her yarn and cast on her sock, and all is well with the world.

Goodbye Tofu Socks

The tofu socks are finished.


They are in The Man's Christmas stocking. The Man's Christmas stocking is nice and bulge-y. Bunny's stocking is empty. Bunny is harping on the fullness of The Man's stocking in the hopes that The Man will make the connection and realize that:

1. Bunny's stocking is empty.
2. Bunny wants something in her stocking.
3. No one else lives here.
4. If anything gets put in Bunny's stocking, The Man is going to have to do it.
5. By Christmas morning.

He's not a stupid man, but neither is he a subtle man.

Do you know what this means? It means that Bunny only has two projects going, beagle blanket and purple cardigan. I'd like to point out that just because you may be working both sides of a cardigan front simultaneously on the same needle from two balls of yarn in an attempt to ensure that they turn out symmetrical and the same size doesn't mean that this will actually happen unless you pay attention to what you are doing and alternate sides. If you just work the same side back and forth over and over, it will end up much larger than the untouched, unworked side. Then you'll have to do make-up rows and measure them and shit, which you hate, which is why you did it this way in the first place.

I am going into the stash to pick out something nice for myself, I am going to start some fair isle socks, and maybe I'll pull out some of the leftovers and do a hat or something that I can actually finish soon and feel like I accomplished something.

Goodbye Secret Project

I can now come clean about the secret knitting project because it is no longer a secret. A group of six of us at the Teeny Tiny Government Entity meet at lunch time every Tuesday to knit. Our circle has changed over the past few years as people have come and gone. Our best knitter decamped for the Left Coast and that leaves me as the most fearless knitter remaining. We all have different skill levels and experience. I have been knitting since I was a child, I do the most patterns and color work (not much color work, though), I knit socks on DPNs and that freaks out some of my friends. I am not afraid to rip out a substantial amount of work or even a whole garment if it doesn't turn out right. But I would not say I am the best knitter. There are others who do more precise, regular stitch work and smoother, more even finishing.

Anyway, our Kathleen is retiring in a few days, and we got together and decided to make her a blanket:

We each knit some of the squares in whatever patterns we wanted, and then we edged them in crochet, sewed them together, and did some more edging around the finished product. It turned out wonderfully. I am so proud of us. Kathleen was moved. I had to prod her to stop hugging it to herself so we could unfold it and photograph it. I'm thrilled she liked it. But what I am most proud of is how the members of the circle each pushed her comfort level and became a little more fearless by trying out new patterns. People are getting more excited about doing more complicated work. We're growing. It's so exciting and I'm so proud of everyone.

Goodbye Monkey Socks

The flash is not working on my camera and I'm too lazy to figure out why, so deal with it.

Zee Monkey Socks, zey are feeneeshed, and are on their way to someone who could use a pick me up.


Zee ugly Flower Power socks, zey are feeneeshed alzo, and they are maybe not so ugly. I wished I'd knit them in the next smaller girth size and about 1/4 inch longer, but hey. We are about expression, not perfection.

GK helped with the photography. He keeps a close watch on me to make sure I don't go away.

Tofu sock number one is also finished, and sock two has been cast on. I gave up on the idea that one cannot, under any circumstances, change needles. I swapped out the bent metal ones for straight bamboo ones of the same size, and everything went smoothly after that. Does The Man have nice legs, or does he have nice legs? And look at YB back there, being a good boy.

I cast on the fronts to my purple cardigan. I am trying to knit them both at the same time, on the same circular needle, side-by-side, from separate balls of yarn. I saw a tip that this is a good way to ensure symmetry. We'll see. I'll probably end up knitting them together at some point. However, if this works, I can do the sleeves the same way and maybe finished this baby up in a month or so.

You'll never believe this, but I also pulled out ye olde beagle blanket and did a few repeats of the pattern while watching the foosball yesterday.

Here's a Tip

If you are knitting with a chunky weight yarn that gets 3 stitches per inch, then don't use the pattern instructions for worsted weight yarn getting 5 stitches per inch. Instead, try using the pattern directions for chunky weight yarn that gets 3 stitches per inch. That way, you might not completely fuck up the armholes of the sweater you're knitting and have to rip out more than six excruciating inches of work.

Also, this just in: We hate the Redskins. They hate us, so we hate them.

Making progress

I have whittled down my knitting to four active projects. The Man Mittens are done, and are already getting some hard wear. I am conflicted about this. I think a lot of knitters are. On the one hand, they are a utilitarian garment, knitted to be worn and used. So he wears them all the time. This is good. On the other hand, this is a handknitted work of art to be cherished. If he actually uses them as intended, they will start looking scaggy and, at some point, wear out.


The Fleece Artist socks are done and have been put in the mail. I wanted to keep them, but they weren't for me.


The beagle blanket is in hibernation, and my part of the secret project is done and I need input from others before I can do the next step.


This leaves me with three pairs of socks and my purple cardigan. It is supposed to rain hard and icy today, which not only hasn't happened so far, but isn't even showing up of the radar yet. I've got a pile of firewood on the deck and football to watch, so I should be able to get in some good knitting time.


I've started the decreases for the armholes on the sweater. This means I have to pay attention to the pattern, but it also means that I can see tangible progress, which makes it more enjoyable to knit.

Here are the Monkey socks. I used the YB-approved Lorna's Laces. I've done one and finished the cuff of the second one. I need to knock these up the priority list because the person for whom they are intended has had a mishap and could use some thoughtfulness.

This is the tofu sock. I'm love/hating it. It looks great and it is going to feel nice. However, the yarn is a bit slippery and I'm using metal Susan Bates needles, which amplifies the slipperiness, so it's constantly coming off the needles. Plus one of my needles is seriously bent so, awkward to knit with. No I can't switch needles mid-project because then the gauge might get fucked up. That's right. An f-bomb. That's how bent needles affect me. I need new ones, but none of the yarn stores carry them. I'll have to go to the horrid all-purpose schlocky craft store that sells the kind of shit you'd need if you were the sort of person to decorate your house with homemade angels fashioned from feathers and raffia and baby-doll heads.

Back to tofu. It looks pretty good.

Why, thank you. I think the heel flap shows off the colors nicely too. Sez The Man: uuuuuuhhh, kin I have 'em? Sez Bunny: Sure, sweetie. You do realize they're purple, right? Sez The Man: Yeah, so? Sez I: and the yarn is made from tofu? Sez The Man: Cool.

Once was a time when The Man wouldn't eat tofu, and now he's going to be wearing purple tofu.

And finally, the sock club socks:

I'm working the heel flap on the second sock. I do not love these colors. Not at all. But at last I'm getting it finished.

When the sock club socks are finished, I can start the next sock club socks. When the Monkey socks are finished, I can start the Cookie A. Knitty Gritty socks. When the tofu socks are done, I can start some nice grey fair isle socks.